Samaritan Counseling Center of the Capital Region | Scotia, NY

Premarital Counseling

Marriage preparation is not a screening process to determine whether people should or should not be married. Rather, the goal is to identify areas where improved communication could be beneficial. The five most commonly cited marriage problems are children, money, in-laws, sex, and communication. What are the chances that you will experience problems in these areas? What are the chances that you will successfully resolve them? Premarital Counseling aims to help couples go to the altar with open eyes, open hearts, and the tools they need to work these issues out.

The Benefits:

Premarital counseling improves the strength of marriages by 30 percent.
Even couples that don't foresee relationship problems before exchanging their vows report a benefit from premarital guidance.
Couples not only communicate better after receiving premarital guidance, they also adjust better to married life.
Marriage education, training, and counseling programs significantly strengthen marriage by reducing strife, improving communication, increasing parenting skills, increasing stability, and enhancing marital happiness.
Dozens of studies continue to show that marital counseling is effective in reducing conflict and increasing marital satisfaction.

Who is Premarital Counseling For?

First marriages only have a 50% chance of surviving. Second marriages have a 70% failure rate. How can you assure during this subsequent marriage that things will be different? By identifying the areas that were of greatest challenge and learning a new way to deal with them, couples can increase the chances that subsequent marriages will survive and even thrive.

Usually it isn’t until the children in a blended family have gotten past the excitement and joy of an impending marriage and are living together on a regular basis that problems will arise. Many children will suppress any of their fear or upset about an upcoming marriage because they don’t want to ‘ruin’ it for their parent.

The older we get the more difficult it can be to adjust to the new circumstances presented by marriage. Two people who have long been established as singles may have a greater level of conflict and stress and this can greatly influence the stability of the marriage.

Couples who live together before marriage have a higher failure rate that couples who did not. Because they often feel as though the only thing that has changed is that they have is a ‘piece of paper’. Actually many things change as soon as the “I dos” are over but these changes are not necessarily obvious. Everyone has conscious, subconscious, and unconscious expectations of marriage. The wedding is often the trigger for these feelings to emerge. Premarital Counseling can bring these expectations to light and help couples resolve problems more cautiously.

Couples attend for three one-hour sessions. During that time, an extensive family history is taken. The therapist takes a look at conflict styles, communication patterns, conflict resolution and anger management skills, personality issues, and any other areas that a couple feels may be a challenge. And of course we want to know about your wedding plans! After the three sessions, a report is written for the couple to keep. It outlines the areas of strength and areas of growth that have emerged from the sessions. The report also shares what some of the not-so-obvious possible problems may be based on information provided. By having a heads-up on what may happen after the marriage, a couple can identify the warning signs long before they are unresolveable. Through Premarital Counseling, couples can learn to predict, understand, and seek help for problems that arise. They will also benefit from seeing that many problems are normal and fixable! The earlier a problem is addressed, the greater the chances are of resolving it and keeping your marriage happy. The cost for premarital counseling is $240.