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Tony Soprano is a hit with therapist: Counseling center director likes efforts of HBO series character to seek help
By MATT PACENZA
Friday, July 21, 2006
Times Union
SCOTIA -- Before it became a cultural touchstone, "The Sopranos" was just another wacky idea for a TV drama. Who would believe that a violent mobster would seek out talk therapy?
Here's another hard-to-believe one: The executive director of a local, God-centered counseling center draws inspiration from that violent mobster.
David Olsen, chief of the Samaritan Counseling Center of the Capital Region, has no apologies for his appreciation for "The Sopranos," the HBO drama that is poised to begin its seventh and final season.
"It's quite profound," said Olsen, who works at the Scotia headquarters of Samaritan, which has 10 offices in the Capital Region. The organization's psychologists, therapists and social workers do about 14,000 clinical sessions a year.
Olsen felt strongly enough to pen a pair of articles in Samaritan's most recent newsletter provocatively headlined "Why Do We Love The Sopranos?" and "Lessons From Tony Soprano."
Strong sentiments from a man whose organization's mission is to express "the healing love of God by promoting psychological and spiritual health through a ministry of pastoral counseling, psychotherapy and education."
But Olsen sees no conflict between that goal and an appreciation for "The Sopranos," a show that details -- and often celebrates -- sex, murder, adultery and a boatload of curse words.
You can deplore such behavior, he said, but it exists, and it's the job of therapy to examine it closely.
"It captures that dark part that lurks in all of us," he said. "All religions have a way of talking about that darkness, about understanding sin."
Tony Soprano's struggle is to reconcile his love for his two families -- the Mafia and his biological family -- with the violent, even sociopathic parts of his personality. That conflict often plays out during his therapy sessions with Dr. Jennifer Melfi.
Olsen said the dynamic between the two is more realistic than most TV and film portrayals of therapy. Their conversations are often tedious: Soprano and Melfi tend to cover the same turf, such as the scars left by his volatile relationship with his parents, in the same ways in repeated sessions.
"Therapy is about why we keep going off the road over and over and over again," said Olsen, a licensed family and marriage therapist. "We're trying to change our internal wiring, which is very long and very tedious work."
Tony Soprano does make occasional breakthroughs that lead him to try to be good, to end the violence and the philandering. But then, with a fierce suddenness, his anger rears up again.
"What's incredibly difficult about being human is just sitting still, sitting with our own emptiness," said Olsen. "Like him, we look for action to get away from that."
Samaritan is a local chapter of a national nonprofit organization. It offers various kinds of therapy -- counseling, couples therapy, business consulting -- to all kinds of patients, regardless of whether they have insurance. The center also focuses on helping victims of sexual trauma to recover.
"The Sopranos" might shed a positive light on therapy, on the value of spending time and money to unearth the demons that lurk within. But it doesn't necessarily show the therapist very positively.
Melfi, although skilled, is an ethical nightmare. She and Tony share a mutual sexual attraction, although one they've yet to act on. She is also clearly titillated by his violent lifestyle, in sharp contrast to her humdrum life.
But Olsen said that even in that role, therapists can be inspired. Melfi may be flawed, but she knows it: She herself is in therapy, in large part to talk about treating Tony Soprano.
"The fact is that a good therapist is always consulting with colleagues," he said. "You've have to be very aware not only of what's happening to the patient, but what's happening to you."
Pacenza can be reached at 454-5533 or by e-mail at mpacenza@timesunion.com.
A place for help
Samaritan Counseling Center, the local chapter of a national nonprofit that offers therapy to patients with varied meeds regardless of whether they have insurance, can be reached at 374-3514 or at http://www.samaritancounseling center.org.
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